|You are not really sure what you're doing this for but you need something to fill up the days.
||[May. 10th, 2005|08:41 pm]
So it's been a while since an update.|
Meh. That's okay, I suppose.
I really don't know what to write in here..
There's shit I could include that seems so important, yet trivial and irrelivant.
There's shit I could put in here about what I've been thinking/feeling, but it seems to personal and the overexposure is.. threatening.
Ryan and I broke up, again, for the few of those who don't know yet.
It's really, really done this time.
I guess it's better this way.. I mean, that's why I won't let myself go back.
But it's still.. disappointing that it didn't work, painful that it was so.. far off, and upsetting that's done. Forever.
After I clinged to it so tightly for so long.
After he made me believe in so many new things.
I'm back to whoring around,
Doing whatever the fuck I want and just
Some think it self-destructive,
Some think it's stupid,
Some think it's selfish.
But I'm still around for those who need me,
Still clinging to the things I love,
And still the same person.
I just have fewer things/people standing in my way,
And less desire to let anybody in.
I call it real.
Life is shit.
I do what I can to enjoy myself,
And do what I feel will help to get through it.
It may appear selfish, but at least this way I'm not going apeshit on everybody.